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2025 Xmas Story (31/12/2025 23:10) |
Warning: Your sanity may be in trouble if you try to read through all of this....... But by all means, enjoy: Once upon a time in December
the ML team was getting all cozy in their Nordic igloos.
Spinner woke up and said, it feels like a black dress day today
but he look into the mirror and found it ugly
yet he still put on the red dress as it was more suited to contrast the black morning coffee.
Its even so hot outside, not even a single snow dropped
Oh no! Don't tell me that was me.
And he thinks..what a hell is so hot upside...
All of a sudden Blest appeared drunk and merry in a Santa costume
There was something about today, that just wasn't right.
must be climate change
I never thought that's how it would be
but so it was that Spinner offered Blest some coffee too.
but it is not alarming
I really a good job the team Managerleague. Good job boys.
A drunken Blest in my living room, in a Santa rundown costume, was not the way i hoped this morning will be
He looked the Joey way and said: How you doin'?
Xmas vibes in Manager League! Events are live and the rewards are rolling in. We'll collect them step by step and push the squad to victory! ?⚽
Spinner replied "bloody awful!", cant get the xmas upload to work!
theres no roads where we're going Marty! great scott!!
Good, very good!
and we wonder when will 25th Dec come... 25/12
The Christmas spirit is in the Manager League! Events have begun, and the rewards are pouring in. I hope you consider the loan player option as well. This way, your teams won't go bankrupt. HAPPY CHRISTMAS...
Merry christmas, Mr. Lawrence.
Nice!
The weather outside is frightful
?? You might want to stay away from that snow globe.. it's not the white stuff
Spinners mind: Do those reindeers truly run on electric?
Well', Spinner said. ' we'd better get this back on track ... and look, there in the snow is a pair of sleigh tracks ...'
silent night all is well and then we played football lol happy xmas every one
then Spinner realised they ran on carrots
Merry Christmas Managerleague and Merry Christmas for all people
The snow continued to fall in thick flakes and completely covered the pitch.
Grey sky over Gudenaa, so I think it's time for a (drink)
As the game went on and night prolonged... A shadow appeared from the woods just behind the pitch..
Yet we never forget the reasons and purpose of Christmas
The floodlight from the pitch made the shadow smaller and smaller as it approached the pitch.
I dreamt that I dreamt that spinner's game was actually fair and not a pay to get success deal ...
On the snow-covered pitch, Christmas lights glowed as my team found hope with a miraculous last-minute goal
Under twinkling lights, Santa laced his boots, ready to score the ultimate Christmas hat-trick!
If Messi had practiced against his garage door with his right foot as well, what a player he'd be ...
Elves approaching slowly, with half their feet submersed in the snow. They want a team for their own kind this season.
Suddenly a mysterious whistle. A spaceship appeared over the stadium
Its doors opened and out stepped Zanta Claus, the alien version of Santa
The elves revealed that they would like to play FM if they could convince Santa Claus to be their manager
As Screach and Jenny separatly looked up at the spaceship in London City, where the the streets aren't pretty....
MỘT MÙA GIÁNG SINH NỮA LẠI ĐÊN, TRỜI ĐÃ SANG ĐÔNG.NĂM NAY THỜI TIẾT CÓ VẺ RẤT ĐẸP, CHO DÙ LÀ MỘT NĂM NHIỀU CƠN BÃO
I have come to deliver presents and to kick ass - AND I'M ALL OUTTA PRESENTS! the alien boomed menacingly.
Happy Christmas to all my friends. Let's continue to work to be an even more successful team in the new year and the new season.
Zanta Claus stood angry behind the elves, frustrated over why they wanted Santa Claus and not him
Santa drank a bit too much and gave out wonder kids to all managers
A magical snowflake sets out on a journey through the ML realm to light the Christmas Star.
The Old Man is delighted when he wins a major award
The stranger from far away just wanted to be happy and turned on her computer and clicked "FM"
Bjelle klang Bjelle klang over skog og hei
Only to find out the Grinch had stolen it
Guiding every striker's shot with festive luck and wintry wonder.
You all stay safe!
But not this day!
This day we fight!
Be positive after all!
Today is a good day to lose...
Your inhibitions (beer)
Snow softly blanketed Manager League Village as bright lanterns adorned every pitch for the annual Christmas Talent Parade.
There was great festive cheer, with egg nogs and frankenfurters in abundance, as plaers and coaches from all around gathered to put on a show!
For the Christmas show, they decided to...
make it banana themed
Hohoho
Ho ho ho, mates. It's about sharing.
well, sharing yes but not my chocolates
With my defensive woes it's time to park the sleigh.
I never thought that's how it would be
Said Arteta as he walked into the injury room.
Lucky for him he has reserves ready
To take on the mighty Manchester City and Liverpool for the grand prize of the Premier League
Although he didn't know that he was about to
Open a really boring advent calendar
Buy where is deadpool ??
Said the wolverine.
Xmas is Xmas
Remember the days when we all had to pull on our boots on Boxing Day?
Spinner received a phone call from the North pole
The elfs were in touble
Spinner ride the elfs!
The elves said: we're in big big trouble. We, the small elves, are being chased by big, black shadows..shadows..that would haunt the unhaunted, shadows..that would bring sorrow to the most joyful, shadows..that would bring ugliness to the most beautiful...
But what was it that they wanted from spinner ?
Spinner rubbed his chin and looked thoughtfully at the sky...
Before he realized that the sky was indeed not the sky: Curiously enough it was
It was the roof of his house. And in the Windows the Squirrell look at him and said...
..."Santa Claus, even though MOD Calinutz (TEAM:75039:Evil Team) is no longer so young :P, on Christmas Eve I want you to gift him two cheerleaders—one wearing the Universitatea Cluj jersey and the other in the CFR Cluj jersey. They should play football, and he (MOD Calinutz) will be the trophy for the winner"
Santa tried a penalty, missed badly, blamed the snow for everything again.
Then he slipped on his back saying hohoho
we are the champion
my friend
you are the
present this year
for christmas
well wrapped for
A rich person that own a
football club in
England, with a
manager who's beard was as white as snow
Give the Santa some extra credits, so he can spill it over all of us!
Snowing, snowing, the whole day!
So spinner said outlout the magic code he once heard in a movie: " The sun is shining... but the ice is slippery"
There once was a crystal of snow
But it was boring, and i turned it back on
So, Spinner decided to fly to South America, to buy a poncho to fight the cold
He landed in Columbia and ended up fighting the Cartel
....but as any self respecting drug smuggler will understand, you can't ruin Christmas, so......
and when the Cartel was beaten... Spinner had all the hookers and blow he ever wanted... until....
the tiny elf shouted, "WHERE'S YOUR GLASSES REFEREE!!, That's a handball, you little donkey!"
donkey? i'll have you know that i identify as a reindeer, i just ain't got my horns with me right now, health and safety and all that ...'
After the eventful stay in Columbia, Spinner travelled to.... and met......
Pele
Who had been resurrected by ... for .... purposes.
Who had been resurrected by Spinner ofc, because his Manager League account had been inactive for...
... actually he never had an account to begin with, but Spinner resurrected him anyway, because well you would, wouldn't you? But then...
Winter froze the pitch, but free credits thawed hopes, funding a last-minute signing that changed everything.
Heat McGraw was some kind of player, a man for all seasons....
It's spinning Christmas
It's getting to be the time of year
It's the most wonderful time of the year
When children are playing and boosting their flair
Picking their headers out of the air and playing it square.
You never win the league in desember,
While an elderly former soccer player reminisces about his glory days while mentoring children at a community center during the holiday season.
Dazzling to the snow and goal ! The fans cheer, the players jingle on the field.
And then Santa came and said to the reminiscing player
You talking to me? I no longer play football - the reminicent player said
That's about to change replies Santa.
But if you play like Spurs do, then it is better to stay away from football Santa said to the player sarcastically
On the frosty village pitch, twinkling lights guided football teams as all joined the magical Christmas Cup kickoff.
Some started with a bye and some lasted 1 minute, the only consistent was a moan from the grinch !
The game ended with the moaning grinch, moaning the last time, with the winning goal scored by a guy named Raindeer...
Santa polished his shoes for Nikolaus...
and expected that some tasty treats will fill them
High up in stratosphere, Santas sleigh crashed into a .......
Snow Heart Letter
Santa was shocked to find it was a house of ill-repute, owned by.........
Spinner, Could it really be. But why???
Well, we now understood that Spinner was Elif's new step dad.
previously classified files Fifa made containing detailed information on how refs should rig games in favor of certain teams. This allowed Spinner to crush the competition in the CL compo.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
and then Spinner started giving his heart, but the very next day the ML managers gave it away
Last Christmas, I gave you my credits
The chimney was black, nothing around to clean his beard
So he cleaned his beard on Mrs. Santa's beard.
He came and emptied his sack , bells chiming all over the place... (santa)
And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.
Everyone tried their best to ignore the Christmas messages from Spinner's radio, which kept interrupting the story. (innocent)
lets pull some crackers said the DJ
Santa's city - Elf utd : no match ,too much snow to play.....
Yes you can aspecially if you are playing Man United (humhum)
But next year will be a good year for Red Devils!
Santa thinks that is wishful thinking, unless the players ask for a new manager in their stocking (humhum)
hot chocolate !
began leaking from the roof of the Man United Stadium as Santa and his elves dropped their mugs of hot chocolate during some turbulence aboard the sleigh.
But the hot chocolate got cold, and spilt onto the snow, where it set hard, and looked like....
... frozen dog vomit frisbees. these were soon peeled from the snow and thrown ...
at Erling Haaland during the Manchester derby.
The derby turns chaotic as..
Amorim's tactics are again questioned, when Casemiro is seen building a snowman in the centre circle and passing the ball to "Snowy McSnowface". Tbf Snowy's touch was class and earnt himself a 10 year contract.
Santa could not get a half time drink at West Ham..All the Mugs were still on the pitch.
And the referee said...
Let's have an hour long VAR check determining if Casemiro committed serious foul play against the mug he had kicked into the stands out of frustration.
Santa, unless your drink comes down the chimney, it's not getting here before kickoff again
Santa got mad...
But because it is Christmas, he brought 66W a shiny new SCOUT that could actually determine a players star rating!!!!
Except he was actually a physio in disguise. Last time I am. Going to buy a Christmas gift from Temu.
And it came with no instructions or allen keys.
... only a wind up key, and it ticks after you wind it up.
Santa decides to review this faulty product on temu..
Snowman Karo was tired of being alone. One night, he made a wish: "I want a friend." When he woke up the next morning, there was a little snow bunny next to him. He smiled. His wish had come true.
Karo and his new friend the Bunny of Wishes Fulfilled started making snowballs to have a kickabout, but as soon as they kicked them, the balls exploded into clouds of snow! What splendid fun! How they laughed!
..the next day, Karo woke up from his hangover and realized it is the Easter chocolate bunny. He ate it and...
and felt that some Gross Arbeit is forecoming in the snowy WC...
Karo invited the girl-next door for a warm chocolate shake near the fireplace , laying on the sofa because it`s already starting "The Grinch" movie ?
But that was too scary so they watched Home Alone instead ?
Santa sleigh has fail its MOT. So he is driving home for Christmas
As they were sat, enjoying the film, Karo remembered the mistletoe he had bought just yesterday...
Suddenly someone knocked loudly on the door...
Baby, it's cold outside.
But we literally just live next door… you could have stayed next to the heater instead of cheating…
nothing like a log fire to toast your buns on.
But accidentally, the wrong set of buns finished on the fire and
It was almost as bad as the day when Rudolph's nose turned green.
Finally, Santa needed more log to get the right buns on the fire..
To get more log Santa needed to go to the woods and cut down a lot of forest
Santa looked out of the window and saw a full snowy wood of trees where he could get some logs, however there was a set of glowing red eyes in one of the nearest trees...
It was Little Red Riding Hood who was chased by the wolf.
oh my grandma, what a big long foot u have! she said
now cook me a fry up , grandma
Grandma, you smell odd. Have you showered recently?
The pipes are frozen and the electricity is on the fritz. But it has sure been nice talking to you.
But the family warmth makes the water flow again!
Grandma, I just saw that your ML team had like 40-60 fitness, why aren't you playing anymore?
Without power I can't log on to ML, and my heart is breaking.
Outraged Santa decided to send Rudolf for the electrician even though...
... his stamina was low and he just didn't have the strength to ...
fly up into the air, so he borrowed Santa's electric motorbike.
But the battery was so low, as was his stamina at the time. So he decided to get a nap, and forgot to set his training camp
The next day he wokeup and saw his player fitness in their 80s and team stats in their 50s. Christmas was a mess! (hopeless)
so, in the starting eleven of the next match he fielded 7 reindeer, 3 elves, and Santa Claus as goalkeeper. The result was…
a lot of reindeer poo on the pitch
Then the cleaner wondered if the poo tasted like cotton candy
Ah, gee, it's all fine and dandy.
At that moment, a buss with tourists arrived, they wondering what thing on the grass was. Santa cleverly replied that it was a side effect of the Northern Lights, the Aurora Borealis.
The only tourist that doubted Santa's questionable explanation was____
..the same guy named Raindeer who had scored earlier in the game as well..
The tourist was actually a famous Finnish skier, so he found this squeaky brown mass suitable for a few slalom training sessions
what a skier and a good finisher, sign him now or is it all downhill from here.
What's that? It appears a team from the Premier League is looking to sign this fantastic festive finisher for the striker position.
God only knows United need him, but they signed Sesko instead (humhum) maybe Liverpool then? Ah no, they have Isuck........so instead he is snapped up by......
Hell's Grannies FC, headed by Little Red Riding Hood's grandma!
Sadly, he was given to the Big Bad Wolf for Christmas and promptly eaten.
even more sadly the wolf is not big this season, but very bad, and breaking his special diet this way left him full of gas and ...
Santa is having a gluten free Christmas this year
but nevertheless Santa does like to eat milk & cookies
after the Dutch cookies Santa Claus met Chuck Norris !!
and they briefly played one chess game with Santa playing with the snowy whites
and Santa lost the match
santa and chuck norris then had an arm wrestle... santa won thanks to his magic...
Santa sadly had injured his right bicep during the arm wrestle and needed to see a physio
Santa looking at Santa ..Physio made an entry in a Santa suit..
and said merry christmas...
Finally genuine Santa had to pay 24.000 $ for excellent physio services.
which, given the random factor involved, was really the luck of the rub
He was treated with "moderate success" and returned to 85 fitness
Even though Santa Claus is a wealthy man, he also has extra income via Snapchat.
But his Onlyfans was a bit of a commercial disaster.
Santa observed that the fans of a Laptop playing ML stopped working (ouch)
But the snow melted and slowly dripped thru the keyboard, and sparks socked Santa's fingers!
It was shocking to discover that the fans weren't really cooled down by the commercial break, and were actually ready to support ...
and, then this HAPPEN...
Upon hearing such news, the Grinch....
did a little dance, ending it with "jazz hands!"
So after the freestyle jazz dance, Grinch decided to replace Santa with an AI clone implanted into.....
..Olaf..he danced and danced until the first ray of sunlight broke through the dark cloud-covered sky...
when he slumped to the ground, with a cool beverage
… then it was posted on the website premierinjuries.com that Olaf has a sprain and will be out of the team for the next two weeks …
Unfortunately for Olaf, he wouldn't last the 2 weeks, let alone a day. As rays of sunlight beamed through the windows of his home, directly towards his helpless and injured snowy body.
Olaf the snowman turned into....
turned into Rudolf ......"looks like rain dear" he called out to his missus
And she, having no idea what was going on, just sat down to drink some hot chocolate.
into the hot chocolate she put some marshmallows and
candies, but then she noticed that...
she had no idea who is she and were she is...
so he drunk his chocolate and then...
He began to sing Blue Christmas.
After that he started to
Cry uncontrollably as that song reminded him of his Grandad.
He reminisced back to all the good times they had together
He sang along to sweet caroline
To which santa got the lyrics in the chorus wrong again
And the childrens quire went up to him and sang-along "I`ll be home for Christmas"
then Santa sat in front of the TV to watch the English League One mega derby between Exeter City vs AFC Wimbledon, regardless that at the same there were lots of intriguing Champions league encounters like Inter vs Liverpool and so on...
What was Santa up to? Should he not be preparing for the big day T-16
No stress, everything is under control. Santa is in fact less busy this winter, because her daughter grew up, she is from Iceland: Santina Santasdóttir!
Well she is a strong willed woman, who refuses to live like her father Santa, and instead prefers to support The Grinch!
however due to all the herring she eats , she has terrible wind
Although the wind was terrible for her surroundings, after a couple of days, it traveled all the way to England and helped Manchester United to finally win fifth game in a row
In 2006
The wind also blew some credits from ML HQ towards Monkey Arena
So as a joint collaboration of 2 massive events (the birth of Jesus Christ and the birth of Spinner Christ), ML HQ upped the S265 SOS credit reward from a non-Christmasy 15, to a humongously festive 25 (help)
The whole ML community flew out to the MLHQ to surprise spinner, but the police started getting suspicious, so they…
rounded up a few community members, who happened to be wearing santa hats, and took them away for questioning.
They were interrogated in a ....room by........
some very animated moderators who
.....spoted a flashlight in his face and said: "We all hate cheaters."
And then a serious Spinner with his head pointed directly at the camera on managerleague's own YouTube channel had to announce Live: We wish peace for everyone in the run-up to the Christmas holidays.
And while a serious Spinner was making that announcement... a serious Santa sprang up behind him with a box in his hand...
What's in the box? He said. Is it Jack, or is it a box of rocks?
It was Jack Scorington, the spirit of ML seasons past.
with a cute puppy called Scooby
The puppy was indeed called Scooby but sadly he didn't Doo.
He just did doodoos all over the floor. The clean-up was left to....
The ML tax man, as everyone agreed he deserved this job.
but Scrooge didn't pay any tax, just sucked on humbugs.
The children have no Christmas dinner?! Scrooge scoffed loudly (a special talent of his). "Bah! Let them eat footballs!"
What Scrooge didn't know was that the new tax rules had a fortune tax deduction tax for cash above $100m, and he got a tax bill of $50m for Christmas which got him really mad!
Elsewhere the Netflix group bought the giants WB studios for a whimsy $72bn, now Santa has to go All-in on this poker tour he`s practicing for weeks now..?
Santa is sat with a pair of aces, his opponent the grinch turns over king queen suited. flop comes out ace king queen, santa is praying for a fourth ace on the turn....
But all of a sudden...
a big snowman appears…
Wishing all our ManagerLeague community a joyful Christmas and a prosperous New Year! May the season bring you success, inspiration, and unforgettable moments both on and off the pitch
Sorry that was Ballerinas doing' pirouettes in the snow
Then all of a sudden several snowmen appeared and invited the ballerinas to play a game of chess.
The ballerinas declined, challenging them to a game of ML instead. "That is the true test of skill" asserted one of the ballerinas.
The match started, however quite soon the ballerinas collected 4 yellow cards!(yellowcard)(yellowcard)(yellowcard)(yellowcard) Drama!
They danced in circles, and that was against the rules, but that didn't stop them from...
....throwing all their car keys into a pot and letting the ref pick a set to go home with! Ho ho ho Merry Christmas to all the refs out there (lovestruck)
the key fob in his hand started playing 'jingle bells', the ballerinas spread out as somebodies chastity belt lock played the same tune amongst the ballerinas ... soon it was obviously the big russian girl, Swanlake Makesyakof. 'well, she said in an extremely husky voice,seems like i get lucky, for you i'd even shave my moustache off ...'
All of a sudden, Spinner cosplaying as John Wick drove by in his convertible. The wind blew his wig off….
It flew, guided by the wind directly onto Santa, who coincidentally, was in the area
Just what I needed!' said Santa 'a nice furry muff to warm my cold hands"
... so, furry muff was heating so intensely that his hands reached 42 degrees, so Santa ended up installing air conditioning
right into his beard.
try following that one after a few drinks at the office party
.. finally Olaf showed up at the office party and stuck his head right into Santa's AC..I mean beard..
The air conditioning was terribly dirty, and Olaf called Stella directly to have her do a complete cleaning of Santa's beard.
At least, that's what she said.
and she was being truthful or so it appeared as his beard was very very clean.... but had turned blue.
Ans no matter what they did they could not get the blue out.
They realized that the color changed based on the weather and in the spring it turned green, in the summer the beard turned yellow while in the fall it turned brown
But this year was an especially weird year because the beard suddenly became magical and....
Blue beard is just too weird, Santa needs to shave and cut his beard off completely - said the Chief Stylist - and added, the latest focus group research show children aged 8-10 find a clean and bare head Santa more likeable! This is the minimum he should do, even better option, Santa could be replaced by 25 year old fashion model and influencer Dolores Sanchez taking over, she got more followers on Insta...after careful consideration, Santa Claus got rebranded to Santa Sanchez!
Then suddenly a fake news appeared that this Santa Sanches is a son of Lawrie Sanchez, a football legend who scored the winning goal for Wimbledon against Liverpool in 1988 FA Cup final producing one of the biggest upsets in FA competition long history.
It was at this point Spinner made a wish to Santa that people would respect the wordcount rule of the competition.
but Santas reply said 'size isn't everything, you must have heard that before ...'
but santa also said that Spinner had a great wish...
After hearing that, Spinner decided to boost Speed training for everyone, since he knew that ML players are clumsy and that technique wouldn't help them.
And suddenly every team found themselves with at least 8 injured players. This caused pubs to overflow with players recovering over a beer, two, five.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Spinner smells,
Spinner casts his spell, and the snow stops
winter is coming !
and global warming will make europe much colder ...
And a thousand strikers will slip in front of open goals because they stepped on some ice
How many of these will be awarded a penalty by VAR ?
The answer is all of em. All of these will be awarded a pen
and then they will shoot wide of the goal in protest
only to be red carded for this
because they gave a thousand unfortunate fans severe concussions wit the sheer force of the strikes. After a 1000 hour var review, all of those 1000 fans are awarded penalties they must take for the teams they support.
But Santa Sanchez came in and denied penalties for everyone. They all thus got bluebearded.
IN other news , the sled reindeers, had just opened some fresh eggnog, just one would be ok ?
What was missing was Rudolph, the reindeer who would have gathered everyone else, introduced them to the ML world
..in the previous match, Rudolph was given a card the same color as his nose, so he missed the next game
But Santa's little helper jumped in and led Santa's team to an unexpected win against...
Polar Bear City, their greatest rivals !
Frustrated, the polar bears decided to take out their anger on another rival, the Seal Squad.
Little did the polar bears know that the seals had recently recruited two killer whales to play centre mid...
Their new midfield acquisitions led them to a shock 4-0 upset. Leaving the polar bears absolutely livid.
When the Manager League administration had to read the regulations for the clubs in a news broadcast live on the Manager League TV channel on YouTube, animals are not allowed in football matches organized by the Manager League, only people.
And then Santa woke up... and realized that the last dozens of events are the result of a hangover and hallucinations, because the only bears he had ever seen were in the gummy bear bags.
You're a bum, you're a punk, you're an old slut on junk
I need to get this old body out of the house and make a snow reindeer, before...
... I randomly win the competition two days in a row, despite all other managers Christmas wish for the rewards to be a LITTLE more evenly spread...
..Santa looked at (TEAM:78589:Partick Thistle Nil) comment and decided to give an even bigger present to...
Nobody ... cares actually it`s all fun & games until the big bad wolf walks in
… to give credits to the same person two days in a row…
then suddenly Santa realized that today is 12 December - the Saint Spyridon day, and took the plane to Kerkyra, Corfu to commemorate the Eastern Christian saint.
Before returning rather urgently due to an emergency in the North Pole...
The reindeer were all quite plssed that Santa took the plane and
The Grinch didn't steal the Christmas tree...but he done winter gymnastics with the ballerina
But she was sad about the reindeer and took him on a walk
The ballerina looked up to the sky and said "looks like rain dear".
but Santa just replied "Baby it's cold outside".
During this time the elves ...
Started playing ML, and got addicted! Who would make the toys now?
the orcs, of course, the things they will do for a good bit of elvish flesh ...
like sneaking into a cave to get a bear to rip the elves' skin off
Not on my watch!' said Santa as he loaded his shotgun, then he
... fires away, the orcs dropping one by one like flies. After that's done Santa leaves and....
Went on a shopping spree with the girls… SLAYYY
A spark of doubt flashed somewhere between his beard and the peak of his hat. Is she cheating on him? Santa decided to get in shape urgently and started doing squats and push-ups...but his frozen beard
he died a bright vibrant pink colour just for the lols
Then just like christmas magic, Pink appeard with her daughter Willow and started to sing TheChristmasSong.
Suddenly a real life genuine Swedish Lucia-procession turned up and set everything on fire, then left, singing all the time. It was a bit of a mess...
At hearring this, terrified, the raindiers pray to Santa to...
Santa Claus will become more modern, replacing his reindeer and sleigh with jets that have far more comfort and help to be far more efficient.
In order to modernize his sleigh, Santa needed to outsource its upgrading. He turned to
Olaf, the great industrial automation guy... Olaf brought his crew with him: the giant Olaf, the small Olaf, the melting Olaf, and the regular Olaf.
and then Arsene Wenger told to Olaf "football is an art, like dancing is an art – but only when it's well done does it become an art"
Art or no art Santa is coming pretty early this year , but only those who were very good and obedient, naughty children will get the "twig" ?
And good children will get a Q75 SA youth next season (smile)(smile)
But what will the naughty boys receive?
As this was already established, "the twig", Santa ignored that thought and went back to planning his sleigh-upgrade, feeling a bit skeptical about those initial jet-plans due to the carbon footprint.
I am low on Credis...Please Santa send some.
Along with the carbon footprint issues, Santa also felt sceptical about the pillar 2 tax considerations of his large multinational Santa Group enterprises.
So many considerations to take into account, thought Santa Claus; time to have a Christmas soda!
Christmas soda did have some alcohol in it, and soon Santa was tipsy and flying to space instead of across the earth!
As Santa was tipsy he decided to send to Makmak a high Q 17yo with SA next season
Elf's were satisfied what they saw and decided to bring some positive vibrations to all ML managers.
....and then, as if by magic, there was a mahoosive Earthquake, the epicenter was downtown Oslo - the Fifth Season server building (help) Spinner sprung into action, like a leaping gazelle! These were not good vibrations, action was called for before......
Spinner realized he was cosplaying Santa and decided to duck and flee to his underground bunker in the Arctic.
But Chairman, ever the commited chairman, tried to save the building, closely followed by a veritable army of monkeys
and the monkeys were each carrying keyboards. They all started coding frantically, hoping that they could write...
a Christmas story code that could save the building. At this point in time, Spinner was regretting that he scrapped the jet project
But when the monkeys finished, Spinner realized that the code was so well written, and decided to hire all of them.
But then instantly got in trouble with the elves labour association, protecting their members rights to work leading up to christmas.
one out, all out they all shouted
and then every monkey left…
But the last monkey (who studying machine learning) suddenly decided that he would become a millionaire if he copied all the posts in a Xmas Story forum thread and published them in a PDF
Then Spinner decided that he would buy land in Nordkapp and build a 1000 square meter building for administration and an attraction for historical flashbacks throughout ML history.
However it was much more expensive than he thought. But thankfully, he knew just the person to help.......
And that person was Bob the Builder! Together they
Bob the Builder said to Spinner, you can build igloo.
And Spinner said, "But why would I want to build a silly old igloo?"
Under the puzzled gaze of the Grinch, they began to build the igloo out of cotton candy
Oh crap, who ate our igloo. hopefully you dont get diabetic in near future
Mrs. Claus wanted snow on a plate...as she was furious
The waiter said "do you want ice with that Mrs Claus"
Then suddenly a brown bear appeared, which was not very typical for Arctic areas. The bear asked Santa "I want to play a game", just like in the Jigsaw movie (yarr).
Santa took out the chess board out of his bag and showed it to the bear (santa)
The bear asked: what is this? I wanna try!
Santa is a chess grandmaster, he checkmated the bear with the scholars mate in 4 moves. the bear was not happy...
So he stormed off into the woods, desperate for some solitude and thought provoking alone time. So he crouched, picked up his newspaper and does what a bear does best ? ??
After finishing his business in the woods, and pouting about his chess loss, he decided it was time to ****it up and go for a re-match.
Santa was still there when he returned, boots planted in the snow, calmly resetting the board. He hadn't even moved the cocoa. Steam curled from the mug like it, too, was judging him.
Flashback:
Baby it's cold outside, said the reindeer.
No its not said santa junior, and punched him on the nose (he had anger management problems).
His nose was red, covered in blood. This is how Rudolph got his signature nose.
Back to the Future (now). The bear, having finished his business already, hopped on his Segway to make a grand entrance
he flipped the board, scattering chess pieces, and spilling the cocoa. He gave the middle finger to Santa and yelled
HO Ho ho as Santa Hollered , shoving a pawn piece made from coal into the elfs Christmas sack!
big eared midget!. Anyway, this insult angered the elf who made a loud whistling noise, after which.......
Rudolf's red nose started sniffling loudly as well.
The elf's whistle summoned nothing in particular; his Christmas magic had been lost when he was placed on the naughty list.
..but after the VAR review, the elf's whistle meant something. Two reindeer got red cards
They were cursing the referee like there was not tomorrow.
Then S.A.N.T.A. said, "Reindeer with your two red cards so bright, wont you guide my sleigh tonight?"
And so Santa put all of his trust in Rudolf, what could possibly go wrong? (grin)
Rudolf stepped onto the pitch like it's the greatest moment... in the very moment, he slipped... upper cutting an opponent..
And now we have two red noses on the court
And this Xmas, so that they wouldn't feel like they stood out so much, Santa decided *everyone* would wear a big red nose!
or in medical terms ' naso rubro', though occasionally you can have a 'biggus naso rubro'
Happy they don't have to disguise themselves because of their noses, they went skiing
In Norway, Santa Claus is described as a small paw, about half a meter tall. He is mostly dressed in gray woolen clothes, and with a red top hat. Ergo we are not talking about a wealthy person, but perhaps more casual?
But not as casual as Christmas Eve in the Christmas Mouse family home, where every one was hoping for cheese that year !
But before Christmas morning there's lots of work to do, like
…Setting death traps for Santa Claus,
Not necessary as Santa is putting winter up his nose, stay focus...
Just seen Santa on the underground, he did not buy a ticket.
A policeman catch Santa at his long white beard and said: "I want to play a game with you", just like in one famous horror film.
Of course, he challenged Santa to a game of ML, with 100 credits on the line
But he received a complete misunderstanding from Santa, because the only machine he had was a sewing machine that he used to sew his socks and bag...for 300 years. During this period, this machine had learned nothing, absolutely nothing.
Instead Rudolph started dropping 25 Credits To all the ML managers that hadn't won anything!
have you been sniffing the snow on the screen? that would be a lot of credits
and he called after it, ' Baby please come home! ' . What he thought was a kiwi turned around. It was a
a..... actually a robotic one and it started singing 'Merry Christmas Everybody' in a threatening tone. Then.....
I dont know whats next. I was sniffing the screen! But Santa is not from Sweden?
No, in fact Santa was not from Sweden. Upon hearing this, Zlatan decided to become Santa from Temu and promptly bought himself a $1000000000 fake white beard from......
Galce & Dobbana, the greatest fake designer beard store this side of the Danube.
... yes, I bought a Devotion perfume by Dolce & Gabbana for 50 euros and 60 credits.
This great fake designer brand was owned by another great fake not-so-designer Santa... who was actually..
The Grinch from his designer village outlet
Those fake perfumes were actually performance boosters for Grinch's team
But Fifa ruled they were not classed as doping when they found out Trump loved those perfumes. It was a Christmas miracle.
You're a mean one Mr. President(not entirely sure which president he meant), someone said with a smile strangely similar to the Grinch.
So the President sued the Grinch as he mis represented his beautiful speech
After a while Mr President invited Santa for a sing along , singing Coco Jumbo
First Lady Melania came, elegantly unplugged the electric cable to stop the loud music, and she said: the children are sleeping, Santa!(humhum)
Shortly after Santa received a call, from Mrs Claus.... she was mad. She had discovered that.....
Santa Claus was very tall and had a sponsor emblem on his back that said Coca-Cola Classic, and it was said that Santa Claus was more glamorous than the Santa Claus from Norway...
Santa ..Santa ...Santa....Jesus Christ ! ooopps
The president of FIFA was unhappy, because Santa borrow his shirt and denied he wasnt corrupt
In the shirt he found a ancient plot device with an X on it. After consulting with the Ester Bunny and Jesus he heading out to find his enemies evil liar, his enemy of course is Cliff Richards! which is near the coast.
The Madagascarean coast that is.
In order to get tot he coast, he needs to ride a thousand waves for 10 moons..
Santa said: I ain't got no time for that, I wanna
fly home
and drink some hot cocoa
After successful landing, Santa decided to refresh himself in men's WC, where all of a sudden appeared his old friend - the brown bear. The beast once again asked Santa to play together a quick master and servant game.
The Bear never had any intention of playing …only feasting on Santa...Little did he know that Santa knows krav maga(seriousbusiness)
....bloody bear started a fan riot at my stadium, so not funny - I blame Santa.
Santa got hold of the brown bear and took it back to the zoo
To have it stuffed in time for Christmas. The lucky person who will get the stuffed bear will be...
Former president Teddy Roosevelt, but somebody forgot he loved bears...
Unfortunately he died many years ago, so somebody else got it instead. The lucky person was....
one of Monkey King's monkey minions, who thought that the stuffed bear was a stuffed monkey.
So he set out to find something to replace it's missing tail.
He figured Santa had it in his power to help him, so he tailed him.
so he used a sprig of holly as the tail
.and he joined a symphony orchestra and began playing on his sprig of holly (tongue)
Better than blowing your own trumpet i guess! Well, what sound does a sprig of holly make......
sprig of holly makes a high pitched scream when pricked.
Don we now our gay appearal, he smiled, tailing santas behind…
Suddenly a terrifying scream "SOOOOFT SEEEETS" echoed the silence in the dark forest ?
Every night, the moon lowered itself into the lake to see whether the world still needed its light.
Santa left a gift under the tree for himself, hoping this year someone would finally believe in him
Santa is getting ready for the Big day..Will he miss anyone
Eventually, Marlin stopped at the sound of a bird, a big blue beautiful bird..
... so Marlin stripped off all his clothes, covered himself in cranberry sauce....
and posed for the Christmas edition of Playgirl
Santa Claus has decided that the reindeer should not be a figure to be associated with Christmas, he wants to slaughter the reindeer once and for all, and sell it as beef at the local store, and wants more comfort in his travels and buy transport planes, and use local postmen to handle Christmas gifts...
For this purpose Santa phoned his old friend - the brown bear. The beast quickly arrived and said to the reindeer "I want to play a game with you".
the game was who can juggle the most snowballs simultaneously for 30 seconds.
Both Santa and the brown bear got ready and prepared for the battle, the winner of this competition would win a
a shiny new LIFESIZED STATUE of them at the ManagerLeague Cup Stadium …pssst this gotta win cuz I mentioned ML
But he doesn't win..The winner actually turned out to be...
Not Spinner
Actually, no one won the prize, because the Spinner froze, and ML members had to wait until...
Ms Claus with the milkshake & Cookie, Spinner maybe lactose intolerance
Not the bloody bear (dizzy)(humhum)
...they need to be in bed waiting for Santa!
Unfortunately they fell asleep! Santa survived unscathed
But that is incorrect, Monkey King has been on a pre-Christmas bender and he doesn't know what day of the week or week of the year it is! Oh so premature and vivid daydreams for the poor functioning alcoholic monkey.
ChonkeMonke found his fellow Monke hallucinating about mutant bananas hunting and eating monkeys.
And the therapist looked at him sprawled out on his couch and said ' and how do you feel about that?'
But the therapist looked like a big banana, with sharp teeth and
Then Santa asks: what else do you want lil Charlie?
But Monkey King was still hallucinating, and there was no charlie. The therapist looked like a mutant banana, and monkey king was terrified, so he...
started listening to some Xmas songs to calm himself, such as
I like to move it move it, by the reindeer posse
But that song made the hallucinations even worse. Bananas started to move it, move it, and those teeth got closer and closer
Anyway, while that nonsense was going on, Santa continued with his task of delivering presents to every child in the world.
...Santa doesn't come to bring me gifts, maybe Spiner will come to bring me some credits (tongue)
Santa was quite stingy this year when it came to credits as gifts... he would give no more than 10 credits per person.
And yet, some people didn't get...
... anything but coal. Because they were on the naughty list. I've explained all this, a visibly exasperated Santa told the hordes of entitled brats complaining...
You can`t mess with the kids around the block.. or else
Santa Claus decided to shave his beard should Man United win 5 games in a row.
Ho Ho and away we go, even if you have no Snow
Just one week until the big day, the dreaded super flu is on the way
so therefore Santa is now considering that best Christmas Presents will be Vaccines that will give immunity against this flu! These magic vaccines will be developed based on an ancient recipe mixing chocolate, vodka and snake venom....what are the additional herbs needed?(list)
To complete the recipe, Santa flies to the Amsterdam ghetto for some old school Dutch mushrooms...
Santa Claus's greatest wish is that everyone be happy and healthy, and that everything else will come by itself
The amazing thing about Christmas preparations this year is that Santa Claus is on TikTok live, and is in the pro league, here we can follow the factory as wish lists from all over the world are fulfilled as the gifts are wrapped.
“Whattt” I asked in confusion. “How am I supposed to continue the story?”
You have to choose your own path, Just take another step towords the christmas of your dreams and see what happens next.
While all attention was focused on Santa and what he doing and thinking minute by minute, the elves were out of sight. No one suspected...
Every night, the moon lowered itself into the lake to see whether the world still needed its light
Love and sacrifice are the two saving forces in the world
Suddenly Mrs. Claus came to Santa's workshop asking for equal pay and equal opportunities for women in the industry and demanded this year that SHE would provide the gifts to the kids for a change!
Santa answered: Go back to the kitchen!
could remember that men were men and sheep were nervous.
but only the ones that couldn't run very quickly
The goalkeeper saved the snowball instead of the ball (beer)
Also Santa recalled the old times when football was played by hard men like Vinnie Jones, unlike today's fragile mannequins.
And he decided for Christmas, he would give said fragile mannequins red cards for diving!
Santa promised that this Christmas, children around the world would relive the joys of growing up in the 1980s and he would deliver no goalposts this season. Instead, children must use jumpers for goalposts, like the good old days.......
Save the bears as Santa has still got them spinning like ballerinas....The reindeers was remained not to follow the footsteps like Bambi
Joys of the 80s' Santa chuckled to himself 'what a miserable decade THAT was!'. Then he went to find Mrs Claus so he could apologize. He needed her help to empty his sack.
After emptying his sack, he felt much better, the relief was palpable. One of the Elves then said, ......
Santa skipped one chimney that night, because the light inside meant the family was already together. ?
So he popped into the local pub for an Eggnog before going to the next house
....but the egg was from an ostrich, so there was enough for egg liqueur, enough for a cheese omelette, and still enough egg white left over for a whole batch of meringues
Having been disastrously sidetracked by all that egg-based cooking, Santa rushed back to his workshop and took a massive dose of "snow" to get properly energised. Then, he...
Shared some with the elves who were looking a little jaded, but it didn't quite have the desired effect...
as the elves started an impromptu football match against Santa's reindeers, with giant candy canes for goalposts.
The short size of the elves was quite costly as the reindeer punished them through corners and crosses into the box with no competition aerially.
but Dracula dressed as a reindeer cut out all the crosses and the elves went onto the attack.
What's going on Santa is in shorts...must be global warming
but his hairy polar white legs do not distract the nimble elves, who with maradona=like ball juggling skills ...
scored goal after goal.
Let The little drummer boy play.
Under the Christmas tree in the locker room, shiny new boots awaited every tired player. (grin)
Including the drummer boy, who Santa decided to play as a false nine in the upcoming match.
Where did Santa put the envelope for the referee and linespersons??
For the payment Santa called José María Enríquez Negreira, the famous bribery master from the Negreira-Barcelona corruption case. The ex-Barcelona consultant took the first flight and arrived to meet face-to-face with Santa.
Santa moved an envelope across the table towards Jose... He looked up and Santa said: here's some info regarding the whereabouts of the linesman and referee
But when Jose opened enveloped there was only a short note: "Jose, you are still a bad boy."
Look, Jose, get your act together, or all you are getting are lumps of coal!
And a strange idea started in Jose's mind "Is Santa promoting fossil fuel?"
Time to launch an eco-protest against Santa!
Where's Greta when she's really needed! Probably dressed up as Mrs Claus, with her Pavel Nedved wannabe haircut (hide)
And she insisted on Santa claus retiring his reindeers, so he has to use....
A diesel powered sleigh, which angered Greta greatly. That was until...
a fat orange man in a nappy walked in. He had a long, single strand of hair coiled up and balanced on his head, and a pelican on a leash.
Everyone else realised there was no following that, so they just pretended like it never happened and left Santa's workshop, mumbling about needing to set up their teams for the next league match in ML.
However a cyberattack carried out by the Monke Mafia randomly shuffled the players' positions on the pitch the second before kickoff.
which strangely resulted in a better performance!
Santa Claus has decided that he will retire after this Christmas, so others will get to...
wear his fake beard
Santa checked his list twice, then added his own name under “needs rest"
No No....He can rest after the Christmas run of games, subs bench with Salah
than Santa's dog barked loud, guaranteeing Santa won't rest, reminding him that he must keep on moving!
So he put on his headphones and started blasting
The old classic «all I want for christmas is my two front teeth»
Santa has shut up shop...A busy week ahead , so going to chill out first
The bells rang ding-dong-ding...
Suddenly in the middle of the road a silhouette appeared. Initially it looks like a huge snowman but soon Santa realized that it was a hungry white bear.
And the white bear was very hungry!
The bear tried to knock down the doors, but the doors were as tough as Murinho's famous double-decker defense
The reindeers come and push the doors so they are open, but the bear was tired and sleep whole winter.
.. after thatd the reindeer formed a rock band, and one of their most successful songs is called: knockin' on heaven's door
While the bear was sleeping santa gave her a coffee cup as a present
but the bear was disappointed it was empty and went back to sleep.
He slept the rest of the winter, (as bears often do), and missed Christmas again this year. Santa had tried to keep him up, but ...
It just didn't happen to work. It appears trying to keep the bear awake at this time of year was impossible. So....
it made for a slightly lumpy rug with an added bite if you wore stilettos like spinner
Santa implanted a biochip inside of the bear that completely overhauled its circadian rhythm, allowing it to stay awake indefinitely.
The side effect of the biochip was that the bear became addicted to bananas and started competing with monkeys over it, which was a shame because monkeys and bears were best friends
until the chip malfunctioned, and the bear started dancing energetically as he sang
X-M-A-S by Kylie Minogue.
the police arrived and arrested the singer for crimes against singing
It was a breed of bears called the Canadian Sphynx, just like a breed of cat known for its lack of fur.
The singers seem unrelated to the breed of cats however.
How would a furless bear evolve in Canada, you might well ask. And the answer is...
It's because of climate change and increased tariffs on furs.
The Christmas Factory has completed its announcement for a new Santa Claus in modern times, and has written in its qualifications that he must be beardless, 30 years old and...
have only 4 fingers, a moustache, wear green fluffy shoes and matching Lederhosen.
To also comply with union demands, Santa's employees must
Time is running out, my mince pies are getting cold
Secret Santa was so secret it's classified as to sweet and cosy for all year it's only work at Christmas oh reindeer ?
Secret Santa , is where Mrs Claus buys her undies, its a bit like Victoria Secrets, but warmer!
Christmas is on sight, Santa and Mrs Claus are finishing packing presents. There is no place for Santa on the sledge..
..but he has two sledges the other owned by sister sledge and her number 1 reindeer FRANKIE
Frankie who? the renowned singer of X-mas carols?
Then all of a sudden Frankie asked Santa, whether could Go to Hollywood to meet and drink a milk with cocoa with Holly Johnson.
Santa answered: Sure, but we need to deliver all the presents first!
Frankie: No, first we need to STAAART FLYYYY!!!!
Santa: "Fine, I guess the children can do without presents for one year"
No presents for one year? Thought Rudolph to himself.....
Santa reminded Frankie who is the boss, so Santa and Frankie started delivering all the presents, in alphabetical order! However they did not fly to Afghanistan, but instead Santa decided to start the delivery process in Albania!
When he finally got his centuries-old cranium to remember to return to Afghanistan, he had already......
He had already directed the Eagles to fly to Albania, and getting them to turn around would take...
no time at all. So he whistled a long shrill blast and the eagles all turned towards...
It took santa eagles half an hour to get to Greece and help with presents there as well
This ordeal is such a major inconvenience for Santa but an understandable consequence of such poor planning...
...North Pole Gala and accidentally booked a troupe of tap‑dancing penguins instead of the classical choir.Then...
the penguins amazed everyone with their dancing skills and snazzy outfits
It's the hap-happiest season of all
Rudolf always enjoys the festive season, catching up with his reindeer pals, and bringing gifts to kids
The beginning of the great American Christmas myth of Santa Claus and the reindeer Rudolf, when the reindeer with the Northern Norwegian Sami bring Christmas gifts in their sleigh to several American cities, it contributed to the fact that Coca-Cola and Walt Disney saw fit to modernize the story and which has entered 2025, yes, a whole world. This is world-class marketing, so why not...
The story ends here in anticipation of that long-awaited Christmas Day.
No...lets play extra time
But sadly, IFK Värnamo is running out of credits, so their manager took the chance to take the 25 credits
Santa would give everyone 25 credits if he could, however he has spent them all on his new star striker Chris Mastime
winner of the golden boot in Div7 six years running (see how it's *not* a 6-7 thing?)
Verily', sayeth Shakespeare, ' tis just words in the scales of justice. In my dayeth we used mule and ass ...'
and other words that are no longer considered fashionable.
Santa searched his pockets for something, but found something completely different; a picture of Spinner in a dress
.. Shakespeare... as only he could do justice to such a picture of Spinner.. in a dress..
Interpol! To check their watch list and identify who is this criminal(list)
But Grinch managed to break into the Interpol security system and delete their whole Watchlist.
and the gifts started to arrive
Then fulfilled with joy Santa started to sing himself one of his most favourite songs - The Smiths' The Headmaster Ritual:
But somehow, the Interpol recovered and backed the data of the watchlist successfully
It was a Christmas miracle.
Well I am nearly out of credits..Please Santa put some on your sleigh
Let credits fall like snow from the back of your sleigh.
This Christmas, Santa decided to "modernize" his sleigh. Therefore, he.....
added a solar panel and it became EV , with some snazzy furry dice.
...giving it just enough range to make it to the end of my driveway, provided the sun is out and I don't use the blinkers.(humhum)
then the government noticed a drop i tax from the sledge and introduced a new tax per present per home
Elon Musk showed up a gave Santa the new DeLorean Tesla! Santa quickly transferred all the presents from his sleigh to the "DeLoresla", smacked it into 1st gear and wheel span away.......2nd gear, 3rd gear, 4th gear, 5th gear.......86, 87, 88mph.........
Then Santa had a minor brain fart and smacked it in R, racing gear …
Then, in the middle of the flight, one of the reindeer accidentally pushed a button that wasn't previously there. It was the autopilot...
for Santa's DeLoresla, which now veered offroad
But just right before it hit a tree, the DeLoresla reached 88 miles per hour, and was transported to 1789 Paris
It was snowing and looked like a picturesque Christmas scene from a cheesy Christmas card.
post is going up.. So Santa fill your sacks
Santa Claus has sent his complaints to Walt Disney and Coca Cola to change his image, because...
Revolution broke out once again! The French national football player Marie Antoinette Katoto screamed: We must run for our lives, Santa! I just don't feel comfortable to be passive and wait for guillotine! My chopped off head would not look good on instagram. Do you have an escape route suggestion where we could go?
To Russia of course! There's the familiar snowy weather and I also hear of this "Poutine" guy. Sounds delicious if you ask me.' Santa replied.
he would probably put tin in Serbia
Because Santa loves the greatest Basketballer on the Planet some say he is the Joker but might be just one of the elves and pick the gifts from the higher shelfs ho ho and than he...??
Got off his armchair and walked out the door, it was the darkest night ever ..
and because of this darkness, Santa decided to play a chess bullet game with one of his reindeers with the highest ELO. The top reindeer's ELO was exactly 25 (twenty five)... and Santa smashed him for just 25 seconds
...no stars, no moon, just a single candle light in the distance....
Santa seen the candle, so he can reach all childrens houses in time.
... which has nothing with the chess match to do.
And what a move it was. The bear put his knight to a3 and said: "Bring it on you bearded bastard, I dare you to move your (PLAYER:87396361:Black Knight) to a6!"
Alright, black knight to A6, Santa made the dared move.
After playing this eccentric opening known as the sodium attack, the bear proceeded to move that knight every move around the board, confusing Santa. Little did he know that the devious bear had secretly set the game mode to atomic chess, and was about to blow up the black king with the knight.
And then Little Red Riding Hood pooped out and asked- Santa, why is your bear so brown and why she have such small paws and her nails are painted in yellow?
Why that is simple' said Santa 'It's because all I feed him is...
Toffee crisp sandwiches from waitrose
Santa decided to get revenge on the bear by changing the chess variant to "giveaway", where the first one to give away all their pieces wins. He allowed all of his pieces to be blown up by the enemy knight's atomic powers, thus winning the hectic chess match.
But then Santa woke up, realising that it had all been a crazy dream, and it was time to set off.
but first he gave the reindeers some carrot and single malt whiskey
Still more than 3.5 hours left to 25.des in Kiritimati
....Santa's stuck in a timezone traffic jam, the elves are refreshing the GPS, and the reindeer are demanding cocoa breaks.
To shorten processing times Santa contacted his main woman for the job,
Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett stopped by Spinner to convince him to give ALL frequent X-mas story contributors 25 credits to compensate for the seriously sketchy delivery of the "daily" prizes.
sketch being somewhere between a comedy routine and a bad drawing, but hey its Christmas, what the heck, jingle those bells!
Then there is no doubt the GPS signals are clear where Santa Claus and the reindeer are traveling on FLIGHTRADAR24 applikasjonen with the specifications R3DN053 and we see Santa Claus and the reindeer traveling over Tokyo, so let's hope some managers in ML get nice Christmas presents. How wonderful it is to live in 2025. Merry Christmas.
What a wonderful and sunny Christmas it is... thought Santa from a height near the stratosphere
Santa suddenly started to laugh, he thought about his favourite joke!
Just then, Santa reminded himself to take care of his balls... tennis balls..the ones he is supposed to deliver as a gift to...
Careful! The gift of tennis balls offered to Henry in Shakespeare's Henry V is portrayed as the final insult which re-ignites the Hundred Years' War between England and France!
Santa, then opened his copy of the beano and enjoyed a Red Bull
But instead of wings Santa got a pair of donkey ears, looking funny and being aloof....
Well Santa you took off in good flying weather..Don't be late
Well I hope he's not flying with ryanair
Then you look at the sky you seen reindeers run and Santa was smiling again, we come with hapiness too all of you
While waiting boarding, Santa watched the derby match from Bulgarian first ML division (MATCH:1129966). The match was worth watching (thumbup)!
The Christmas of WWI is best known for the Christmas Truce of 1914, when British, French, and German soldiers on the Western Front laid down their arms to exchange gifts, sing carols, and even play football, creating a powerful, temporary moment of peace and humanity amidst the war, a story kept alive through books like Silent Night and memorials.
Santa is making good progress, with no issues to report so far it seems
That was until he ate a dodgy bhaji whilst delivering presents in Delhi and now he's 30minutes behind schedule after a lengthy toilet break...
…But he wasn't about to let a rebellious stomach ruin the night. With a determined sigh, he straightened his hat, checked his list (still naughty, still nice), and muttered, “Right then, no more street snacks.”
The rest of the night passed by in a blur. Until he reached Australia where
one of his reindeer got into a boxing match with a kangaroo.
Put another shrimp on the barby said Tom. But they realised he was a fake kiwi/aussie and briskly ignored him...
.....but Tom wouldn't be ignored and challenged Santa to a crocodile wrestling competition. He who survives, finishes delivering the presents! "I fear this could be the end of me" - Santa's looking pretty buff this Christmas (humhum)
Rudolph came charging, hitting Tom straight in the gut, sending him flying. "I guess I won that one!", Santa said with a sigh of relief.
You did Santa, you did!
... mistake the gold, its really silver, he's a crabby old beggar ...
So Santa and the reindeers left Australia and headed over to New Zealand where....
their sleigh was bombarded by a flock of kiwis with jetpacks.
The kiwis livestreamed their escapade, and they were sponsored by
Well, Santa Claus, you've done your beloved job, now you can drink tea in peace and be with your loved ones on Christmas Day.
in the stables with the reindeers
And all day listening together The Smiths' song There Is A Light That Never Goes Out https://youtu.be/siO6dkqidc4?si=FhqTvKbzJk4vu9fD (thumbup)!
Then a hunter came, and shot the reindeers to make sausage with its meat (it's actually good)
The clever Santa Claus had of course camouflaged his real reindeer, because he knows that reindeer are trophies for many hunters, the ones that the hunter had shot were...
... naughty children made to look like reindeer with a healthy dose of Christmas magic. Because it's not all fun and games!
The children fortunately just received bulletproof armour and protective shields, so all the bullets fired on them were reflected and ended up in......
Today's the day Santa. Some credits would be nice. Thanks
The credits were not forthcoming however
because it was all an error in translation, and what all these whingeing posters were actually asking for were green radishes.
If they only knew all it would take to get the credits
Iced Frappe late over ice please
The reindeer, of course it had to be the reindeer, started a conspiracy theory over the system that selects the "lucky" winners in the xmas draw.
Santa doesn't believe conspiracy theories, he is committed to offer happiness
Therefore he sent those naughty reindeer on "permanent vacation". This left Santa with no one to pull his sleigh though.
So Santa posted an ad on Craigslist asking for
9 Penguins, dressed in tuxedos and willing to learn how to fly.
Santa started singing:
By the time he had finished that song, he was flying over the Central African Republic.
so took some pictures of his dancing penguins
he hung them on the wall to choose the best pictures
whilst enjoying an alcohol free beer, never drink and Sleigh kids !
one of the flying penguins noted that this particular alcohol-free beer that Santa was drinking was not vegan friendly, and proceeded to file a lawsuit against Santa citing dangerous employment workplace.
…meanwhile, the elves formed a union, demanding gluten-free candy canes and ergonomic sleigh seats.
And then another penguin chided, we eat fish, broski
until Roggbif, in a resigned tone, is annoyed that there are so many countries that claim to have the real Santa Claus, and illustrators and leetcodewriters who have said Santa Claus has a gift workshop in the North Pole, that's just fake news...
Cause he knows Santa Claus is really his uncle, been like that for as long as he can remember(hopeless)
However, he can't remember much, since he drank a full bottle of champagne for breakfast...
I think he has finished his rounds now, and enjoying a well earned rest
As Santa decided to finally get up from the beanbag, he realized his butt was stuck, and he might need some help to get up...
So he dialed a number and called. Moments later, acting on Santas obscure distress call, Rudolph arrived with a stick of butter. "Surely this'll loosen you" He said.
We've been over this, Rudolph! Santa growled. "I need that butter for being beastly to Mrs. Claus. Now bring the forklift!"
You know Santa I can't do that because my antlers get in the way of the operating buttons
All of a sudden there was brutal knocking on Santa's door. And who do you believe it was? The brown bear, who just want to play a quick chess re-match with Santa (yarr).
The chess game turned into a deadly fight between good and evil Santa throwing punches here and there, but Yogi did not hesitate and gladly chewed on oldman`s boot
After, Santa wants to challenge the managers of ml to make a chess tournament with them
Santa was afraid to challenge them at ML Football, as he knew he couldn't compete at that game, so he wanted Chess.
They were able to convince Magnus Carlsen to enter the tournament, but only on the condition that he would be allowed to play every chess game after arriving an hour late.
Magnus also insisted that all monkeys would be permanently placed on Santa's naughty list
ChonkeMonke and MonkeyKing took offense. They convinced the ML admins that Magnus biologically, physiologically, evolutionarilly, and taxonomically classified as a monkey, causing him to also be permanenty placed on the list.
Santa lost interest in Chess and took up Draughts instead.
He got into checkers as well. But then he realised... they were the same thing and he wasted money on two boards. He was thoroughly disappointed by this revelation.
so he grabbed another beer and turned on Love Actually for a festive chill
…but halfway through the movie, the elves started debating whether Alan Rickman's character really deserved forgiveness, while Rudolph cried uncontrollably and accidentally turned off the Wi-Fi with his antlers. Santa sighed, muttered “Not again,” and ....
Having drunk himself thoroughly maudlin', Santa cried himself to sleep muttering how nobody really loved him.
until Missus Claus joined him with a Baileys and cheered him up
and it was on, 'till the break of dawn ...
Yes dawn has broken towards a new years day
Mrs. Claus said to Santa:
the elves who understood what Mrs. Claus wanted and were stacked by the window to sneak a cheeky peek but they were caught by Santa. He then started to
And on he goes. Setting up for Christmas 2026 now..Will be bring credits before then...I hope..
handcuff them to the sleigh. he was of course quite humanitarian about it and used fur lined cuffs which he magically came across. he slapped his hand lightly with a studded paddle ...
Ho ho ho...he exclaimed: Off you go!... In the very moment, a raindeer appeared from behind the woods...
Because he has observed a number of packages that have not been delivered...
however, orthodox Christmas is on January 7th, 2026, so this failed delivery system isn't a crisis, so Santa decided...
To sit back with one mint julep (mojito) and let AI figure out what to do…
when Miss Santa comes home and is seeing all the Mess from the Chocolate factory order well...
Meanwhile, Santa decided to sit down in front of the TV and watch some football from the next world - the Africa Cup of nations derby between Uganda and Tanzania.
He listened to the clones of Elon Musk discuss the finer points of football, which none knew anything about.
They weren't sure about what particular code of football they were referring to.
after the match ended in a 1-1 draw, Santa decided to ask his brightest elves to try and reprogram the faulty clones.
Here today, clone tomorrow. Said one of the rogue elves as he pointed his Chinese state transponder at the clones (glee)
I told my kids that it was 363 days until xmas! :p
The elf had mistranslated the instructions for the transponder, and had set it wrong. When he fired it the clones all
he then went on to dismantle the whole Fabric to rebuild it with new glance and shine and a nice place for Santas Wine that he
that he imported from Portugal, but had to replace the label as made in UK to avoid custom taxes
But it lost the new label and that's why somewhere in UK, a bottle of wine is wandering around naked — and now nobody knows if it's red, white, or rose.
To cover up he...
he drank the mystery wine quickly
It turned out to be a large bottle of vodka
Santa got drunk and he started to
think about which country will win FIFA 2026 world cup. Curaçao or Cabo Verde, that is the question.
jumping on a trampoline, when Jenny on her daily outing in the woods got the biggest wink of her life on her TikTok live streaming, and suddenly...
she fell off and landed in a bucket
it was a Christmas bouquet.
A bucket full of the finest snow from the North Pole.
full of Christmas garlands, where she found
And the snow keeps falling, I will need digging out soon..HELP
we don't panic, please just write a report and file your request in the system: help committee scheduled to meet tomorrow and shall discuss allocation of resources for next week's help action plans
we're panicking, also writing, scheduled in meeting with the committee, resource arranging and a plan of action.
Getting this story back on track requires a Christmas miracle! Surely a job for... (and for the love of God, give it a rest with chess and bears!)
Mr. Paddington, chess master champion for seven years running in his local bear's club!
Suddenly Rudolph called Santa's phone and said, "Boss, we have a problem. There is a sack of ungiven gifts left in the warehouse. The boxes have various labels on them - titles, cups, injuries, credits."
All the boxes with credits in them were labelled with two letters "CM", wonder who that could be.(wut)
Cristina Milioti was gonna be very surprised!
Or are these credits for Cristiano Maradona..?
Claude Monet returned from the dead and demanded it was his instead. A fight was breaking out!
- Hey, hey, hey, the boxes is mine!
He couldn't believe the Box was taken. He is a Master from inside the Box and scored 10 out of 10 last Xmas and than
he rushed home to see if any of the French mince pies were left
..and he found only a single, judgmental crumb and a very smug-looking cat
He sighed at the well fed cat and sat down to watch Nativity with it, with a small Sherry.
While watching he realized that there's a very similar cat in the background of every scene... A tingling fear starts to creep into his spine..
Santa realised market research shows that cats became more popular than reindeers, so even Rudolph the Reindeer shall be replaced by a cat called ...
Bob
Fed up now, no presents again this year, not even credits. When will it end
to seek peace, grasshopper, sometimes you must search within
Santas big white beard
..was cut to grow a new stronger one for next year...
but he can't shave his beard because he never got his shaver from amazon, will have to use Mrs Claus muff trimmer.
But Mrs Claus had been using hers aggressively and it was out of battery. Santa needed to fix it with
Since Santa Claus didn't have time to fix it, Mrs. Claus shaved Santa Claus with a razor.
Thank you, Santa said. "Allow me return the favor!"
No, Mrs Claus said, "I happen to think my beard is my best feature, thank you very much!"
Yes, it's like all the years we've been together, Mrs. Kerstin.
Then with completely new visions Santa and his wife sat in front of the TV to watch the English League One derby between Luton Town and Leyton Orient. The 90 minutes football entertainment stimulated both their beards to grow back (yarr).
And of course a sneaky elf was "in the right place at the right time" to take a picture!
But Santa's Little Helper jumped in at the perfect time to make a photobomb
And as great as the photobomb seemed, Santa couldn't help but mumble to himself “no amount of red, photobombs or regrown beard can top the picture of Spinner's shinny red dress, unless…” and that's when the idea struck him.
convince him to take a NEW DRESSPIC!
He pictured Santa and Spinner together i their red dresses at new years eve, and could hardly wait…
to see who is the lucky manager to win the ML Roulette with 0.5 stars in def together with the privilege to chose the length and if the dress comes with shaved or hairy legs
though Spinners legs are always as smooth as a porpoise
Santa decided to shave his legs too, and rushed to the nearest hair removal clinic. It was the "totally legitimate hair removal clinic".
ran by the malicious Chonke Monke Mafia that had sponsored those reindeer conspiracy theories.
Santa and Spinner in crotch length mini skirts for NY, now, am.i the only one who needs to sit down and cool off ? said Rudolf.
that he has invited pop star Britney Spears to sing at his birthday party with the guests. Of course...
He hopes Brittany will sing his favourite Christmas Songs and Hit me baby 1 more time
Then they looked into the sky and noticed the snowflakes which started to fall. ❄️
As snowflakes fell to the ground, they felt happiness and joy like it is the most happiest day of the year...
Ho..ho..ho......
Then the sun came out and melted all the snow
and warmed all the (heart)s
Not yet ! A giant solar eclipse has started and the Rocky mountains are covered in snow...again (snowflake)(snowflake)(snowflake)(snowflake)
so Britney transforms into Bonnie Tyler with an eclipse of the (heart)s
only a shadow of her former self, just shedding a bit of light on the situation.
Santas Reindeer had an accident today after getting in trouble with Temu, it order itself some nice Socks but they arrived 3 sizes to small but Santa
gave the socks to Britney, whom they fit perfectly. As thanks Britney next sang
Baby it's cold outside, thinking back to all those times when
we had a normal boxing day, but not a one match only and when
we went to church and visited the cemetery
Got lost on the way back.
Suddenly Spinner and Santa sat on a sofa and obviously drank were singing together:
Strangely one of the photographs from the Santa-files had found its way to a player in TheChickens team, (PLAYER:87053201:Spinner Naughty Girl)
To get off the naughty list, she returned it without looking at it, so should now be renamed Spinner Nice Girl.
Then all of a sudden there was a brutal knocking on Santa's front door.
bear asking for a cup of Spinner's famous coffee kept in whiskey barrels, to warm his heart and
Feet. Ahh nothing beats a cup. Sadly not everyone could get a cup this season.
At least there is always next season's dream...
Spinner thinks he could create a team on ml to the bear at least
And what a strange coincidence, thought Santa - Absinthe and the Northern Lights over Scandinavia are the same color
...red and white, like Arsenal.
Season change is here
.....and then, as if Connemara had predicted, the Glovers picked up the first trophy of their build (help) thank you 2025 you are ending on a high and thank you Santa for my belated Xmas gift (humhum) HNY to everyone.
Tom had been a bad boy this year, and on Santa's request, Spinner confiscated the trophy!
Tom was furious and decided to appeal, the jury consisted of Santa., his head elf, sneaky reindeer, and.....
...Mrs Claus. The trial lasted a short time, they decided in half an hour...
... mostly because the jury was made up of reindeer who just wanted to get back to watching their holiday soap operas.
That it was Christmas and as Tom had never won anything before he should keep the cup (thumbup)
so he could melt it down and afford another player for next season
In fact all participants should get a special christmas cup, filled with christmas ale, then they all would be happy.
Spinner met Santa once again and told him that all good things come to an end eventually. Therefore, Santa asked Spinner if today is the last day of the Xmas Story telling giveaway with a sadness on his face.
Spinner patted Santa on the back and said "Chin up, ol' beardie! Xmas story is within us all, forever."
And sadly, this will also be the last time the Xmas Story Daily Draw Prize will be awarded to me
However the Grinch stole the win , the cup Christmas and all presents and kept them for himself
It's New Year's Eve now and there are a number of cities Santa Claus has to visit to be part of the New Year's celebrations, in his new double-decker plane he brings...
But first Santa needed a toilet break.
Party and everyone from the ML community was invited they all had a blast and took the New year by surprise, getting the most of it ✨?
At least that's what happened up until Spinner turned up in his brand new
Santa suit... Spinner in his Santa suit and with his 13,000+ minions enjoyed the night like a badass rockstar...
And the minions staring Santa when he goes to the bear
and said cheers and a Happy New Year to the bear with a beer
he said 2026 will be a perfect year, because 2+2+6 digits added is 10, and all even numbers too. and ML starts the year with season 266, only made of 2s and 6s, which reinforces this magic constellation.
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| Spinner wrote: 23:13 31/12 2025 |
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