Team News - Press releases (05/09/2007 11:20)

Rage against Mr Kaizer    (season 36, round 12)

Load demonstrations where held against the clubs manager Mr Kaizer during the previous home match.

A spokesman for the demonstraters, roared with a scornful laughter, that Mr Kaizer showed severe lack of judgement after:
1) Selling 12 of our best players this season, fireing one.
2) Buying 12 barely grown-up "kids", shattering this teams skills and attributes.
3) Changing the clubs logo into some strange emblem with a dragon. What on earth acassociates this club with a dragon, many people ask themselves!???

The demonstration reached a climax after the home team played the last 87 minutes with not one single chance at goal.
Our manager has let ut down, we deride his abilities to ever take us to first division again, says the spoksman with anger in his voice.

Mr Kaizer was not available for a comment.





We are a top 5 team  (season 34, round 31)

Breaking news:
Manager Mr Kaizer promises supporters Kaizers Orchestra will finish top 5 next season.

"We have just barely survived 4 consecutive seasons in Norwegian 1. div, but we have established ourselves in ML's toughest league! We are now ready for another step up" says a confident Mr Kaizer.

"A man's got to do, what a man's got to do", Mr Kaizer says about the poor start of this season. "Sometimes you just have to taken one step back, to be able to take two steps forward".
"For 9 rounds we where stuck at the very bottom of the table. A frustrating time for our loyal supporters, but we enjoyed tremendous success through the last 9 matches; winning 7 and playing 2 draws, taking us up to 9th place".

Home ground Dieter Meyers Institusjons, also known as "Klinikken", has just been expanded, now hosting 55 000 enthusiastic fans.




Prettiest of the pretty      (Season 32, round 14)

Our team have the prettiest players in ML, says defender Ola Buer in a press release.
"We aint playing at our best at the moment, but we sure give the ladys something to think about after dark", he confidently adds.

Yesterdays photo session can be found here: http://managerleague.com/blogperma.pl?id=1198




Promotion: Supporters go bananas!    (Season 29, round 31)

Finally, in round 30, in the very last round, Kaizers Orchestra is number one in dep 2/4 Norwegian League.

We have never before, during any season been #1 in second division, and now we have promoted to 1st division says a happy manager Mr Kaizer.

"This is just unbelievable" says the teams chairman, while the supporters continue their never ending singing of "Up Where We Belong".


Settlement, but the sky's the limit  (Season 26, round 34)

The board's annual statement

Total income: 328.8 mill (-59.5 mill)
Total expenses 322.5 mill (-56.1 mill
Result: 6.3 mill (-3.4 mill)

# of bought players: 4 (-7)
# of sold players: 8 (-1)

Though finishing on the 6th and last (non-bot) place in it's first ever encounter i div 2, the board is moderately pleased.
"So far we are not able to give these teams sufficient competition, but playing with the likes of Holland 1 - A-tack,  Lightning, KJAPPFOTGUTTA and so on shows this clubs ambition" says company chairman.
We have a stronger squad than last year, though Manager Mr Kaizer where told to reduce his squad size during the season to easier train each player enough.

Stadium capacity has reached 40.000, but the main priority, because of todays player market, has been Youth Academy development, a lower priority until now.
Just for the laugh of it, but also for branding Kaizer's Orchestra is now hosting it's own custom cup, the series of Kaizer's Symphony's.

The aim for next season is to better hit back against the other teams in div 2, and make a team capable of fighting for promotion to div 1 the season after.




Glory days (Season 25, round 34)

The board's annual statement

Total income: 388.3 mill
Total expenses 378.6 mill
Result: 9.7 mill

# of bought players: 11
# of sold players: 9

"Winning it's division, scoring 135 goals, Kaizers Orchestra charged into promotion to Norwegian 2nd divisjon. Besides rejuvenating the squad, now existing of 11 teenagers, the main focus has been on development of both the players and stadion facilities. Dieter Meyers Institusjon will soon be able to host 40.000 enthustiastic fans."





The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades (Season 24)

In a brief meeting in the boardroom, manager Mr Kaizer today was given a wage increase.
He also were handed over a pair of sunglasses with the comment "The future's so bright, you gotta wear shades".

Kaizers Orchestra is enjoying the stunning start of the season in 3/14 Norwegian League, winning all 5 matches with the goal difference 25-2.
The club also experience a huge interrest in it's players in the transfer market, where there is a rush for three players as we speak.




The most expensive season ever (Season 23)

The board's annual statement

Total income: 230.7 mill
Total expenses 285.2 mill
Result: -54.5 mill

"At the moment we are poor in cash. We have cut into ours capital, bringing in several key players. And we have established ourselves in good 3rd div standard, finishing in 4th place on the table.
The next season however we the must sell before we can purchase. We want a result of 40 mill plus as well as further stadium upgrades, this has been brought to the notice of manger Mr Kaizer.
We look forward to moving into the most competetive national league, the Norwegian league, where we can assure you all, we're gonna kick some ass."




Team value exceeds 1000 mill. (Season 23)

Another milestone reached for ambitious Kaizers Orchestra.
Total team value has now exceeded 1000 mill.




Unbeaten run came to an end (Season 23)

13 undefeated league matches in succession came to an end, when Kaizers Orchestra lost with 2 goals to 1 against Olsks Eleven tonight.

"I'm a bit disappointed, manger Mr Kaizer says. We produced 9 chances on goal, over twice as many chances as them, we shouldn't have lost this one."


The season so far has at the same time been magnificent according to your fans. What is your personal perception of the season so far?

"The players, excuse the expression, looked like a miserable bunch of loosers, at the start of the season. 4-5 of them were simply not good enough for this team and have left us. Dave Rice (85Q/24Y) just arrived this morning, we have great expectations for him as well as the other new signings. The players have rised to the occation and have become a better third divisjon team."


You have been able to invest in good players?

"The chairman has been generous, I have been able to spend 174 mill on new the players so far this season. However, not all players are able to cope with the new competition: Midfielder Leif Tøndel, 80Q, 27 years, value 28.2 mill wants to leave. Thats a shame, he is a damn good player! He has been a loyal servant for years so we will let him go for only 70% of value says Mr Kaizer. I think he will be a fabulous boost to any team he goes to..., 19.75 mill..., ridiculous, says a sad Mr Kaizer."




The Swing of Things (Season 22)

Climbing to 5th place in the 3rd div (3:10) Kaizers Orchestra have reached their highest position ever.

"Finally our efforts is crowned with success. There was some grumbling among the fans when the season started with 2 losses and 2 draws... We spendt nearly 68 mill on new players at the beginning of the season, but if took the new players some matches to adapt, the manager Mr Kaizer says."


You administer quite a strong squad!

"Mr Kaizer grins. Yes, I have some great players available! However there are still room for improvements, among others we struggle to score enough goals, so we will probably start looking for a high quality veteran attacker any time now. On the negative side, some players seem to have stagnated and have to start improving right a way, Mr Kaizer tells. I could loose my patience you know."


What is your goal for the season?

"We have now illusion of promotion. If we end up in top 5-6 we have done great, ends Mr Kaizer".