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Back on the blog... (01/06/2007 10:44)

Greetings peeps...

For some reason, the last two blogs i've done have been posted on the first of the month. Well, i thought, why change a habit that is blooming so happily. With this in mind, i decided to dust off the old keyboard and let the rant out of the bag...

The first of June has rocked up on me without warning. I did not (for possibly the 39th month running) remember to say "A pinch and a punch" and all that, so your friend (by that i mean me) is in for another month of back luck - or at the very least, lack of good luck.

This is annoying. Yet it is far from being the MOST ANNOYING thing i have been party to recently. No, that is reserved for...

{Regular readers of these entries (and to date there are a maximum of 38 people who could have potentially read all 35 of the blog entries - who are you? put your hands up) will know that, on the odd occasion i have given vent to feelings of frustration, both within managerleague and without. If you dislike this aspect of my character, 1. why the hell are you still reading these you masochistic weirdo. Go read something less caustic! and 2. skip to the lower half}

...for the strangers who keep getting in my way!

At first glance, that reads a little bit mental, but let me expand upon this. I have recently begun to notice a number of affronts to my personal space that have taken place recently. This may or may not be related to my monthly dose of bad luck, but that's a side issue. The affronts take the form of what i can only think of as the self-involved nature of the modern world. The "I'm alright Jack" mentality. Well, I'm not alright Jack, and i blame YOU!

Thats is, not the you reading this (unless you do these things to me) - no i mean the people who

Get to the top/bottom of an escalator (moving stairway for those unfamiliar with the term) and just stop! What the hell do you think your doing? There is a conveyer belt of people heading inexorably for your backside! The top/bottom of the escalator is on of the least opportune places to stop for a little think.
Stand in front of a tube/train doorway as they open and try to get on THROUGH me who is attempting to get off. What's your beef? I once saw a man get so angry at this that he threw himself off the train like a stage diver and flattened the waiting crowd. This in itself was a selfish move. I on the other hand, am english and therefore sigh quietly to myself, pull a face, say nothing and then whinge about it to my friends. Who's the better off?
Stand in the aisle of a plane once it is at the gate, waiting for the doors to open so they can madly get off. They barge past you and that. This is a pointless exercise as we all know you ultimately see these people slightly ahead of you in the queue at passport control. These are the same people who get frantic waiting for their bags at the moving bag thing...

These are merely a few examples of the types of people i have come across recently. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SO STOP IT NOW!!!!

It keeps happening to me everywhere i go! I'll give you a nice example. A few days ago i was yelled at by a cyclist. My crime? Crossing the road at a zebra crossing.Ever aware of the demographic of Managerleague, in the UK a zebra crossing is a road crossing with no lights, but at which pedestrians have right of way. Cars, lorries and bikes all have to stop for a person on foot. The man yelled at me to "Take all day why don't you!" My friends, i wish i had a quick witted retort to give you, but i merely said "I'm on a pedestrian crossing" when in hindsight what i should have done was stick a, well, stick i suppose, through his front wheel, forcing him into the world of the pedestrian. GRR.

Is this a malaise that only i am seeing? I thing people are in too much of a hurry, whilst simultaneously dawdling about. DOES ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT THE MODERN WORLD?

Maybe my problem is simply that i live in london. There are far too many people here. I might go find myself a nice quiet mountain, ideally one with a view of the see and internet access, preferably wifi. Then i can live my dream of becoming a hermit. I would build myself some form of shack, make clothes out of squirrel fur or equivalent and write endless novels about 19th century Ukraine. Ah, the dream...

My wife would obviously be dead pleased with the shack lifestyle.

Hmm... this is a bit disjointed isn't it? You'd think i'd write these up in advance, read them through and redraft them. But no, i just blather on, sick i'm being sick through a keyboard until i run out of steam . I suppose (not to be immodest or anything) that its quite James-Joyce-stream-of-consciousness-esque. Ahem - I guarantee that will be the longest hyphenated (joined with little lines) word you read all day. I bet you money.

In other news...

Banditos were relegated through the playoffs in season 22. I got to the playoff match, took a look at the division below and thought "What the hell, lets have a little success for a season) so played a back-to-front team and went down. Looks like a straight return coming up too - just in time for the National Leagues. Which i won't win. Stupid Game...

The short film i have mentioned too often was filmed and is currently in the editing process. We will then screen it to friends and then bung it on the net for all and sundry. It will be under my real name (sorry to wreck the illusion, but i am not polish) so don;t get confused. More on that at a later date.

The lost blog that i mentioned last time (and which ironically would have got about 1 tenth the number of readers and comments that the blog about the blog got) is still in my head, i just haven't had the spare time to sit down and do it. Although, to be fair, the time it's taken to write all this would probably have done. I promise i will rewrite it in the future (and may even adapt it a little into my next film ooohhhhh!).

Quite frankly, i think thats enough from me. I miss the camaraderie of the div 3/13 forum. The 4/51 one isn't quite up there with it. sigh.

Anyway, better be off. will be back soon - or at the very latest, july 1st....

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Spinner wrote:
13:15 01/06 2007

It is clear to me, that you have a very regular "period" :) April 1st, May 1st and June 1st. One month exactly, congratulations, there are women out there who would surely give their right nostril for such a stable period :) Need an extra nostril, do you? Hm, didn't think so tbh. But whats this Pinch and a Punch thing? Some kind of "ole English magick" that provides luck and fortune for all the geezers who belive it in and happen to pay a little silver coin to whoever told them to? Ole magicks indeed!

Now, to your little annoyances, shall we? That terrorist on two wheels who told you to move you fat ass, was me, of course, doing a little surprise visit to London to check up on the Banditos. And as you should have guessed by now, that was me at the top of those escolators, knowing well that you were about to be very annoyed when I stopped :) As for your little airplane incident, I can assure you, after spending 3 hours on a plane with you, you REALLY WANT TO GET OFF IN A HURRY!!

:-P

So, no, it's nothing to do with London, it's all just me.

Back in the days, there was a saying: "Blame Spinner".
It is, more often than you think, quite true.

So, how to escape the spinnerism of a whole society gone down the drain and come back out again under the bathtub suddenly realizing where all the single socks went? Yepp, you got it, let's make sure that Wifi has enough bandwidth for a few of us, huh?
(Your wife and mine would probably be equally happy, but we are MEN, we do not care about their happiness right until that moment when they shake their head in the evening, then we wish we had cared just that little bit more)

Have a splendid month, season and , as it were, period.

Your pain in the everyday life
and proud of it
- Spinner

;)

MissSpoons wrote:
13:27 01/06 2007

awww Wojteker - you make me giggle!!

You're like an old man already.... i love your blogs!!! XXX

Wojteker wrote:
14:25 01/06 2007

Damn your black heart Spinner.

The Pinch and a punch thing is a rhyme said to bring good luck (although was originally to ward off witches!)

The full rhyme is "A pinch and a punch for the first of the month" and you can only use it on the first day of the month before midday. You are supposed to pinch and punch a person as you do it, and they can't do it back to you, they have to find someone else.

The origins are murky, but the pinch part is as in "a pinch of salt" as salt makes witches weak (obviously). Then the punch is to beat the now weak witch away, so the witch can't be bad to you (ie. good luck for a month). As we stopped believing in witches (but not they in us), this random act of violence each month descended on one another. It is one of the main reasons why England has had so few civil wars recently.

Part of that i made up - can you guess witch (hehe) bit?

Cultural lesson over, Spinner, on July the 1st i'll be pinching and punching you if you continue your one man crusade against me!

Miss spoons - you might be surprised at my youthfulness, were we ever to meet... but thanks ! x (no kiss for you spinner...)

Sherlock Holmes wrote:
14:46 01/06 2007

nice wojteker.....now we know why we love wojteker, right?

Spinner wrote:
15:53 01/06 2007

"Part of that i made up - can you guess witch (hehe) bit?"

Well, obviously, you made up the bit about "As we stopped believing in witches". As far as I am concerned, they were never "belived in", they were simply feared, shunned, and if need be, treated very politely.

May I recommend the books Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad and Lords And Ladies by Terry Pratchett to put you up to speed on the subject?

As for your lack of Civil Wars in modern times, these were officially banned by the Sitsterhood of Witches in 1919.

So there!

Zz00009390 wrote:
16:25 01/06 2007

gosh, you jsut made me remember my youth, i havent done pinch punch since i was a lil kid :) Never knew the story behind it though...

Qiel wrote:
16:35 01/06 2007

Hey Woj, new month - new blog. I hope you don't think me slumming be coming to your blog since you have spent all of part of a season out of 3/13. IT will be nice to have you back.

And hey, at least you have escalators that work. The ones here in DC never do - or at least the ones I use. And we got all these drunk homeless people who stand in the tube (subway - metrorail, whetever) doorways and open them as if they were Superman, standing spread eagle holding the doors open in such a way that no one can get one or off. And when you yell at them to get out of the way, they look frightened and tell you that they need to hold the door open so no one gets crushed when the evil lords of the abyss try to close the doors on you.

I just finished working on a film short for the DC 48-hour film festival. Its a competition where they hand you a topic on Friday night, and you have 48 hours to write a leetcode, film your scenes, and edit your film, burn to mini-DV, and turn it in by Sunday at 5PM. This year, our leetcode writer had a great idea despite everyone saying they didn't like it and the film came out horribly. And our editing deck didn't support mini-DV, so we had to burn to DVD and then transfer to mini-DV, and turned it in late. No chance for prizes because we were late, but the film was so bad we wouldn't have won anything anyway.

Good luck in Div4 and hurry back to Div 3. We want one more shot at you before the nationals come about.

Zz00010511 wrote:
02:16 03/06 2007

I completely agree, especially with the bus/train one. I simply HATE it when people are trying to get on the bus before people are allowed off. The guy who jumped off the bus and into the crowd is a true hero and everyone should aspire to be as great as this man!