Asmiling Sir Bignose today revealed PFoJ's first signing of any significance this season. "I am happy to report that for the first time in many years, PFoJ has been able to sign someone with the slightest hint of talent," Sir Bignose told the press as the obscenely obese frenshman was wheelchaired into the room. "Mr Creosote here, is so fat it's virtually impossible to get the ball past him. He is a living (for now) wall indeed, and exactly the goalkeeper we have been looking for."

Talent like this doesn't come cheap, though, the transfer-fee is believed to have exeeded 100 million ML$. Sir Bignose went on to surprise noone by saying he expected Mr Creosote to "start repaying this already on Monday."