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Grampa Joe... (04/01/2007 11:36)

Once I thought I was the only one who saw it.

I watched, as a child, over and over again, the original movie version of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the one with Gene Wilder).

As I watched it more and more, it slowly dawned on me that all was not as it should be in that world. One of the central characters was not as he at first appeared...his name was Grampa Joe.

Now hold your horses there, I can feel an uproar of disagreement coming from you, anger that I might say such things. Believe me, I have heard this before. Many a time I have proposed such a thing, that Grampa Joe is inherently selfish and bad, but few will listen. Well now I know I am not alone...

Grampa Joe is presented to us as a frail old man, cared for by his (only?) daughter and grandson. He is joined in his frailty (and his bed) by his wife and his daughter's in-laws. We are to believe he loves Charlie, and as a result, when Charlie needs accompanying to the chocolate factory, he bravely get's up for the first time in 20 years to go with him.

That is the misapprehension most of the world labours under. 

What I realised long ago was that Grampa Joe is not as he would have you believe. What I pieced together myself through many a viewing was this. Grampa Joe has spent 20 years with his feet up in bed, feigning the illness that has so debilitated his co-grandparents. He has spent 20 years heaping misery on his daughter and then grandson by doing this, forcing both to work hard, day and night, when he is perfectly capable of bringing home some bacon himself. How do we know this? Why - as soon as the opportunity arises to go on a jolly to the chocolate factory, he's out of that bed, shaking off the years, dancing and singing about how HE'S got a golden ticket!  

I'm sorry Joe, but I don't buy it. If you'd spent 20 years in bed your muscles would have so wasted that you would be unable to stand, let alone dance about. He shakes off the stiffness of his joints in a matter of seconds, suggesting firstly that he has only been lying down for, at most, a day and secondly that he has been keeping fit.

I believe Grampa Joe has been sneaking off somewhere (possibly for dance lessons...) the evil git.

Furthermore, if you remember the film, Charlie gives the last of his money, the money he has earned from his paper round and NOT used to buy a chocolate bar from the singing candyman (who is also evil - giving all the sweets away to the rich kids at the beginning, but charging Charlie full Recommended retail value on what he buys - I shake my fist at you candyman!), therefore basically taking candy from a child via an intervening step, and what does he use it for? He uses it to buy tobacco!!!! He takes money from his 12 year old grandson to fund his habit!!! Appalling. 

Logically, he must also get Charlie to go and buy that tobacco to keep up the impression he has spent 20years in bed, thereby criminalising his widowed daughter's only son. Again, evil git I say.

Do you see it friends, or is this not enough for you? Over the years, as I retold my Grampa Joe theory, I became disillusioned that no-one else could see it - like a conspiracy theorist with evidence that no-one else could see. But it was not until this very morning, that I put the words "Grampa Joe" into Google, and the first thing to come up, the top result of the search, was a website called "Say no to Grampa Joe"!! Here is a group who believe what I believe, who have not been swayed by the subliminal messages in the film that make you want to think he's a good guy. Finally I am proved right, and they have far more evidence than I!

I urge you to pass this on, to spread the word far and wide that Joe is a cynical b*stard and addict, impoverishing his family to his own evil ends. But if you don't believe me, if you still hold to the collective hallucination of Grampa Joe=Good Guy, view the site and learn the truth for it is here 

Go in Peace my friends, and don't be like Joe...  



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Zz00029246 wrote:
12:45 04/01 2007
picturehaha, he needs to buy some Niccotine
Zz00009390 wrote:
17:07 04/01 2007
pictureNever saw the movie but heard about it.
You did not proofread your work.
Wojteker wrote:
17:23 04/01 2007
pictureif you meant the by vs buy thing, i got that one! otherwise, not sure what you mean...
Zz00009390 wrote:
04:35 05/01 2007
Spinner wrote:
12:47 05/01 2007
pictureAh, well done, Wojteker!
Finally, we can reveal what scum Gramp Joe really is, and let the world see him as he should be seen!
Say No To Grampa Joe!

- You funny man :) Very enjoyable!
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